Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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