She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
