"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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