so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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