Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
