I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
