he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
