Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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