I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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