You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
