That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
