ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
