Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
vagina is talking i cant
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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