Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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