the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish there were birth control emojis
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
