Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
