You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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