Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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