please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
