bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
