ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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