she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
