grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
