he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
