he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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