So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
