ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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