threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
