All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
