they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize