Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
