I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
