How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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