Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
