Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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