Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
