I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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