it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
