can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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