She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize