Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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