goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize