Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
