Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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