girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
