Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
