I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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