i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
