He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
