Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
