Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
