look no pants
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
