Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
