"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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