Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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