So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize