i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
