Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
