you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
