just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
