I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Randomize
