Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
