I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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